One of the things that first became apparent to me when I started to transition in the Army is that there are a lot of GLBT people who are proud of their military service. Many say stuff like "if only the military would have let me serve openly, I'd be happy to have stayed in," or something similar. Well, I call BS on that one.

Granted, I came out as a reservist on active duty at the Defense Language Institute in California, so I'm not terribly familiar with how the Army works in bum fuck USA in the South, where most active duty Army installations are. Even at DLI, its not like I ran into a lot of incredibly tolerant people. Lets face it, even someone who has never been in the military long-regardless of branch-should know that the kind of people that tend to be attracted to the military probably aren't the kind who hang out at Modern Times bookstore in their off hours. Even if GLB (I'll leave the T aside for the moment) personnel could openly serve, there are a lot of environments (not all of them in the Deep South) where I'd worry about them getting physically attacked, or worse. I just don't think that the (American) military is ready. Not when such a large proportion of personnel (both officer and enlisted) are drawn from the rural south.

Also, it doesn't take that much sleuthing into the issue (as I know all to well from personal experience) that there are anecdotal stories of transpeople openly transitioning while in the military. Typically, however, most trans vets wait until they are finished to start transitioning.Most stories I've head about people being allowed to transition openly deal with either reservists (who have the same regs as active duty soldiers to follow, so I don't see how they are excepted) or people who are so high ranking that of course they could transition if they wanted to.

I would think that being in the military more than a day would convince someone that you couldn't (esp. for MTFs) transition openly in the military the way things are set up now. Just try to convince a commander to allow MTFs to grow their hair out. Sorry for making you spill whatever it was you were drinking over your monitor.

Its so easy from the comfort of an upper middle class lifestyle to look fondly back upon military service, and wonder what it would have been like to have served openly. However, when you have 5 years left on your contract, when you come to that inevitable point that most transpeople come to when they decide that they can't take not transitioning any longer-military service becomes much less romantic.

On a stormy day in California, while there's still power, I thought I'd start blogging again. Last summer I was big into the whole LJ scene, before my life sorta took a turn for the worst in August.

So, I'm not entirely sure why I'm doing this, I already keep a hand written journal.

I'm currently in that in horribly awkward in between stage that occurs when you're not quite full time, but are still moving as fast as possible.
I'm getting my name and gender marker on my DL changed in late March, and my absolute deadline for going full time is May-June-ish-I haven't quite figured that one out yet.

For example-right now there are a lot of lesbian spaces I'm excluded from, and I'm obviously not going to a bar to hit on straight men.

So, that pretty much leaves me in a sort of no mans land of dating and personal relationships.

I also tend to suffer from the usual transwoman maladies-depression, lack of self esteem, etc. And loneliness-I've started my life several hundred miles away from my family and friends.  I probably shouldn't give myself too hard of a time, though. I started transitioning while I was on active duty in the Army. I was able to start hormones, hair removal and see therapists, (all secretly until I came out) but its not like I could do simple stuff like grow my hair out, get my ears pierced, or even move full speed ahead on laser (I was so scared of patchy hair growth as a result of laser-which would look obvious in the Army, and I was so scared about the possibility of being outed). So, despite all of that, one huge handicap that most transwomen don't have to deal with, I guess I've done OK. I really should give myself pats on the back more often.